dude i'm inner monologue high
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
