I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
