I wanna passion pit in your ass
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
