He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
ok first of all what the fuck
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
