are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
