And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Randomize
