You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
