Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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