I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
