how hairy? two words: wookie tits
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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