Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Randomize
