I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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