yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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