I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
What a dumb baby whore.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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