I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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