i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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