I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
