I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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