Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
