I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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