Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
