She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
