we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
