mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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