I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
