Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
