What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
