The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
