My hair reeks of homosexuality.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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