Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
