saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
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