I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
