i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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