at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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