Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I could fuck to npr.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
