Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
