A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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