listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
