If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
