Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
