I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
