Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
how does that bad decision feel?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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