Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
