So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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