i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
