I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
