Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
