now i know why i became what i already was.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
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