Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
