im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
